Travel [Day] 5

If you’re just joining the Vegas Debacle, please catch up by reading:

Day 1
Day 2
Day 3 – Part I
Day 3 – Part II
Day 4 – Part I
Day 4 – Part II


Like the previous mornings I was greeted with the ever sweet and tasty Cappuccino and Blueberry Scone by my ever sweet and sexy boyfriend..

Extra Shot for Extra Skip in my Step!

Thanks Babe!

I was sooooooo sad to be beginning this day.. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I didn’t want to pack all my stuff, I didn’t want to check out, I didn’t want to go to the airport, and I really didn’t want to go our separate ways.

My cheery cheerfulness started to dwindle with the sunset the night prior, and my stomach was in all sorts of knots. We played our responsible cards by packing, checking out, and heading to the airport with enough time to relax together before I had to catch my connection flight to LAX en route to OGG.

We got a table at California Pizza Kitchen and hung out until they were accepting lunch orders. We shared the Spinach Dip, and I got a Pesto Chicken Sandwich to-go…

We hung out for as long as we could before going to my gate, and with each step closer to the gate my heart sank deeper and deeper in my chest. By the time we got there the agents were already preparing to pre-board, so we sat together with our arms around each other and recapped our amazing trip together.

I can be a real titty-baby when the bf and I travel in opposite directions with out knowing when we’re going to see each other next. I waited until every single person had boarded before letting go.. We walked to the terminal together where I gave the agent my ticket and we hugged each other tight one last time.

The plane I was boarding must have been a dash-8 or jetstream because I had to walk outside on the tarmac to get to it. When I boarded, all the window shades were down to keep the airplane cool in the desert heat–but it instantly triggered my claustrophobia! I took deep breaths while scooting to my seat, and after getting situated, I kept my head down and buried in my book I was eager to finish.

At this point I think I was battling more emotions than I knew, because I couldn’t hold back the flood gate of tears that came barreling through, and had to put my sunglasses on so people wouldn’t think I was a basket case. I was so sad that the boyfriend wasn’t sitting next me, and literally wanted off the tiny plane. I concentrated on my breath and then the tears would stop, but they continued to sneak up on me throughout the flight. I was probably tired, too. I’m always extra emotional when I’m tired!

When I landed at LAX, I learned the bf’s flight from LAS was delayed about an hour, so we had a chance to talk before his departure flight back to God’s Country (otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to talk to him until I was landed on Maui). I had just over an hour layover before my flight to OGG, so I got comfortable at my gate, and ate my lunch.

I tried to get a bulk seat or exit row, but learned once again that this United flight was overbooked and nothing would be available. Oh joy. The agent said she would put me on a priority waiting list, but I was less concerned this time around since I already had a seat and it wasn’t too far back.

Not too long after that meeting, I got called up to the counter and was asked if I was Jennifer. I literally had a skip in my step and thought maybe United was going to make up for all their shittiness. The agent wanted to confirm I was traveling by myself and asked if I would move back a few rows to accomodate a family to sit together. UM. Who can say no to that? Gah. Fine. Seat me further back! I asked the agent in return to seriously try her very best to get me bulkhead, or an exit row if it meant closer up.

[Side Note: Traveling by yourself is supposed to be awesome — it’s supposed to be painless, unbelievably easy, and this is clearly NOT the case with United Airlines.] 

I wasn’t in a hurry to board, especially since I was manifesting my ass off trying to get a closer seat. I went to the restroom one last time, and pressed my luck at McDonalds to try and snag a couple waters. When I got back to the gate most of the passengers were boarded, and I walked up to the counter. The agent saw me coming and said something about good karma and handed me a new boarding ticket–which was an exit row–I was stoked! I boarded the plane and found my seat.

I got situated in my aisle seat where I had tons of elbow and leg room since no one was in the middle seat. There was a young guy sitting in the window seat, already in his own world–it.was.perfect!

The flight was delayed because we were missing one of our pilots who got held up somewhere. Oops. Well, this resulted in some very shitty seat assignment changes. Big time bummer. This huge dude comes walking down the aisle, heading straight for me. Noooooo!

I quickly learned, this guy was the epitome of bat shit crazy. Not only was he spilling over into my seat, making me literally have to lean into the aisle, but he took forever to get his ONE BAG situated under the seat in front of him–kept taking stuff out, putting stuff back in–all the while, he never stopped talking! He was saying inappropriate things like, “I hope the pilot hasn’t been drinking” and “I hope we don’t crash” and my personal favorite was when he proceeded to explain a time a plane he was on almost crashed (yeah right). I don’t have a fear of flying–or dying–so I was hardly amused by his blatantness. I didn’t want to encourage his talkativeness, but didn’t put my wall up unfortunately until after the spilling of his sad life story!


He was damn a standby passenger and the flight attendants moved his ass back here from First Class. Noooooo!!

Hey, so when you see someone reading a book, you leave them alone–don’t you? You don’t strike up or continue conversation out of respect for them reading their book, right? Not this guy. After maybe 100 interruptions I decided to put my earphones in and pretend to be listening to music….while reading my book. I’m so sad to report that after 5.5 hours it still didn’t sink in with this derelict I wasn’t interested in what he had to say, rhetorical or not. Worst.Flight.EVER!

I couldn’t get off that plane quick enough, but you’d never guess what happened! Medical emergency, and we had to wait for the EMT’s to board the plane, get the distressed passenger, and de-board before we could even take our seat belts off. GOOD GOD! When the coast was clear, I all but ran to the curb to meet my ride home.

I was SO glad this roundtrip with United was over. Good riddance! As you know from this post, I never plan on flying with them again for as long as I can help it. Not because of the loser that sat next to me, but because of the collection of bullshit I went through on both legs. They’re the reason people hate to fly commercial! It saddens me to conclude, United reflects a company with the “too big to fail” mentality, and that’s too bad because your customers are your evangelists. They will live and die by you. They are the best advertising you can get. And the worst.

The End.


2 thoughts on “Travel [Day] 5

  1. Oh my goodness Jenn! I practically cried and laughed while reading this. The story about the crazy guy is too funny because you're so descriptive I can almost see (and smell) him. Gross, I know! I've been in the crying boat before but luckily it got me my own row and ginger ale before taking off. I used to have a terrible fear of flying and sometimes I'm really borderline panic attack. I hate that your flights were so terrible! Hugs to you my sweet friend!

  2. Wow I'm not gonna lie. That all sounds really sucky. I'm sorry you had to part ways from your bf. And I'm sorry your travels were so awful. You're home now though! Hope tomorrow is better for you 🙂

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